The Name Is Not The Thing
by Right What Is Wrong
Summary: "Harry Potter" - so read the scrap of paper that came forth from the Goblet. And so everyone presumes Harry is the Champion. However... (Oneshot. Mildly AU. Slight Ron-bashing.)


**Author's Note** : Inspired by thinking about possible loopholes in the Tournament.

* * *

 _"Listen," said Harry. "I didn't put my name in the Goblet. Someone else must've done it."_

 _Ron raised his eyebrows._

 _"What would they do that for?"_

 _"I dunno," Harry said._

"Especially because it's not going to work."

Ron blinked. "What d'you mean, it's not going to work?"

"They put my name in the Goblet. Jolly good for them." Harry sat down on his bed. "Do you know how the Goblet of Fire identifies would-be Champions, Ron?"

Ron stared at him for a long time, brow furrowed. "What sort of a trick question is this?" he eventually said. "By the name on the slip, of course -"

" _Wrong._ " Ron's eyebrows rose further. "Didn't you wonder why no one simply levitated their names over the Age Line?"

Ron's face flushed; he looked as though he had been called on in class when he hadn't listened to a word the teacher had said. "Because... they didn't think of it?" he said in a most unconvincing voice.

"The Goblet identifies entrants by touching their magic as they _manually_ place their identifying slips into it," Harry said. "If you aren't right next to it and using your own hands to put it in, your slip is just a scrap of paper with no meaning to the Goblet whatsoever. The Goblet might as well be a rubbish bin."

Ron blinked again. "Well," he said, his voice again taking on an oddly flat tone. "Funny that you know all this, when you say you didn't put your name in."

"You're right about one thing," Harry said, his voice now equally flat. "I _did_ have a passing interest in the Tournament. So I badgered Hermione about it, and she told me everything about the Tournament, how it worked, and why the various tricks people thought up _wouldn't_ work-"

"And why didn't you tell _me_?"

"Because, if you'd really wanted to find out, you could have done the exact same thing," Harry snapped. "Or, if you'd really, _really_ wanted to know, you could have done like Hermione and researched it yourself. Well? How's sitting in the library for hours on a sunny day sound, poring over dust-covered and mold-edged old books that aren't even in modern English because it's so _interesting_ to memorize thousands of pages of minutia?"

Ron was by now quite red. "You're just trying to distract me," he snapped back. "Your name came out of the Goblet - you admit you've got to use your own hands to put it in - you've practically admitted it, I don't know how dumb you think I-"

"Oh, only as dumb as the person who put it in," Harry said. "Because _I_ didn't put my name in the Goblet. 'Harry Potter' put _his_ name in the Goblet."

Ron looked at Harry dumbly. "What? But-" He shook his head. "You _are_ Harry Potter! Unless - wait. Are you under Polyjuice? Who am I talking to?"

Harry smiled mirthlessly. "Oh, my name's Harry Potter," he said. "I imagine it isn't the actual name of the bloke who put it in. But he Confounded the Goblet into thinking it was."

Ron's face scrunched up. "You're saying - what? That he Confounded the Goblet into thinking he was y-"

"Pay attention," Harry snapped, for an instant sympathizing with Hermione. Then he reminded himself that, perhaps, it was an easy mistake to make: whoever had tried to set him up had made the same mistake, after all. "He Confounded it into thinking his name was Harry Potter. Actually, he might not even have to do that - the Goblet might take nicknames." Briefly he envisioned Voldemort entering into the Tournament, and seething with rage as the puzzled judges asked the audience whether any of them knew a Tom Marvolo Riddle. "So he chose to enter it under the alias of Harry Potter. Bully for him."

"So you're saying he entered under your name, and so you're stuck-"

" _No!_ " Harry snarled, feeling as though Ron had been heavily Confounded rather than the Goblet. Then a sense of calm came over him, and a smile slowly spread across his face. "Well, yes. That's what _he_ thinks."

"But Dumbledore said _you_ -"

"Dumbledore's wrong," Harry said. After a moment, he added, "That, or he's acting. I'm going to be _acting_ too, by the way, so I'll thank you not to tell anyone about this. I'm only telling you because you're a friend." Not that Ron was particularly demonstrating that at the moment.

"Let's say I believe what you're saying," Ron said through gritted teeth. "What _are_ you saying? You say he put your name in the Goblet, but you say you're not the Champion, and Dumbledore and everyone else is wrong - then _how do you explain your name coming out of the Goblet?_ "

Harry showed teeth. " _Mine_ didn't," he corrected. "The would-be Harry Potter's did. Everyone's just got the wrong idea because we happen to share a name. Funny how these things happen, isn't it?"

By now, Harry was growing tired of the uncomprehending look on Ron's face, so he stopped trying to lead the conversation. "I'm not the fourth Champion," he said bluntly. "Whoever put my name in the Goblet is. I don't think he's got any idea, or he wouldn't have tried this stunt. And I'm not in any mood to have mercy on him - the Tournament's a nasty, maiming mess, and I expect he was aiming less for my eternal glory and more for something gory." He shrugged. "Of course, if he doesn't participate in the Tasks, the Tournament's magic is going to think he's intentionally dodging his duties and take it out of his hide. And I don't expect he's going to show, do you? Not when he thinks it's _my_ job to decide between certain death and only _mostly_ -certain death.

"I expect he'll be quite pleased and surprised when _I_ don't show for the First Task... reckon my cowardice got the better of me. He'll be rubbing his hands together with glee, I imagine... just counting down the seconds until the Task is over, with me a no-show, and anticipating what the Tournament will do to a delinquent Champion... And then, well... It won't be pleasing, but it will be quite surprising..."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Ron was looking at Harry as though he'd never seen him before.

Harry only shook his head. "Just keep your gob shut until after the First Task," he said, not even bothering to change into his nightclothes as he crawled into bed. "Beyond that, well - I don't think there will be any issue telling the fourth Champion about his screw-up then. If there's anything left of him to tell."

"And what if you're wrong?" Ron said at last as Harry reached up to close the hangings around his four-poster bed. "What'll happen to you if you _are_ the Champion?"

"Oh, do you care now?" Harry said indifferently, and pulled them shut.

* * *

Even he would be surprised when, exactly as the hour allotted for the fourth Champion's completion of the First Task expired, Mad-Eye Moody burst into flame.


End file.
